I think the two-year-old has me figured out. His response, the other night, to my attempts at persuading him into bed was, “you sit on da sofa with MORE yarn”. He meant, you sit there and get so absorbed in your crochet you’ll forget it’s bedtime. Wins!

The cheek of it. But to be fair to him, it has been an utterly yarn-tastic week here at P&P, and it’s only Thursday. On Tuesday there was a much-anticipated delivery from Deramores after the Crochet meets Patchwork blanket juddered to a halt (I had a colour crisis). Then yesterday I decided the perfect antidote to being informed of a 5K tax bill by my accountant was a trip to my local yarn paradise, Lanar Emporio.

And oh! The scrumptious squishiness, the deliciousness of the colours! So it’s yarn, yarn and MORE yarn, in every nook and cranny of the house.

There is everything, from cotton brights perfect for playing around with...

... to thick Egyptian cotton just waiting to be made into a blanket.

And then there was also a touch of rustic: a huge skein of angora mix in the loveliest of mustard yellow, and a cute pair of alpaca tweeds that might just persuade me to knit.

So it’s yarn, yarn and MORE yarn, in every nook and cranny of the house. You might think, with a month to go until our cross-continental move, I’d be trying to reduce the amount of Stuff That Needs Boxing Up. I probably should be, but… But: a) I can’t resist; and b) it’s all for a very exciting, though still top secret, new project for P&P :-)

Come say hello:

... and Mama Wobbles too, if I'm being completely honest.

In just over 48 hours I'll be on a plane to the UK. By myself, for a 4-day work trip. It'll be the first time since the Bean was 4 months old that I'll have left him for longer than 24 hours, and even that has only happened once in that time.

We are both wobblier than a plate full of pink grapefruit jelly at the prospect.

It's been simmering for a couple of weeks. Mildly quivering. Lots of middle-of-the-night feet pitter-pattering over to my side of the bed, but during the day many a "NO" with extra vehemence to what I thought were reasonable propositions. Then last Sunday this happened at 3 in the afternoon, and it's all gone total jelly since then.

It's not that I don't want to go. I do - I'm giving a presentation at a prestigious conference, so it's a fantastic opportunity. The conference is in York, a beautiful city I haven't been to since 2002. I'll get to meet new colleagues and catch up with old ones, a rare treat when you consider my work life normally consists of me + tea + twitter. And three (THREE!) uninterrupted, SOLO nights sleep in a fancy hotel? Hell yes.

But the boy. My Bean, my little one who seems grow up faster with every week that goes by. He's wobbling so badly and I'm filled with anxiety along with him. For him. For every parenting decision that I've ever made (because there is nothing like a little anxiety to make you a little dramatic, too).

We decided to tell him in advance that I was going to York - Mama goin' in Yawk, as he pronounces it - because we didn't think it was fair to spring it on him. Just like we didn't think it was fair to hide the fact that we are leaving Italy and moving to Sweden soon, either. So there is a big calendar up in the living room, packed with all the fun stuff like a trip to the French Riviera and Oma coming to visit, and that shitty thing of Mama goin in Yawk, too.

We thought it would be best to give him time to get used to the idea, to express his anxiety and to allow room for conversation and reassurance. But now that he is expressing his anxiety in a most vocal, physical, heartbreaking way I am wondering whether we should have just told him on the morning of my departure. I am wondering whether I am being selfish, putting my work first. I am wondering whether I am a terrible mother for sending him in to nursery with his tears and fears today, and tomorrow, and the day after. I am wondering whether we have created this monstrous anxiety ourselves, by deciding to live abroad and away from most of the people who love him the very best and give him just the two of us. I am wondering whether I've failed my husband (I told you the anxiety came with drama), as I see him sitting there over-tired and alienated but still wanting to help. And not able to because the Bean won't let him.

In my head, my rational heart-of-hearts, I know none of this is worth wondering about. I stand by our point of view that it's right to include him in all our plans, even if he doesn't necessarily have a say in them. I also know that I need my work, my time to be alone and to do the things that make me me, to then be a better mother when he is with me. Not that our bank account would hear otherwise, in any case.  Likewise for living abroad - we are following opportunity in the hope of a good life, as good for him in the long term as it is for Mr P&P and I now. For us as a family of three, which does of course include Mr P&P despite the Bean's current protestations, his assertions spoken and implied that only Mama matters. Mama who is goin in Yawk. I know that they will both be fine, while I'm off in Yawk.

But still. The wobbling. It's coming with lots and lots of extra cuddles, but it's hard.

I know our toddler isn't the only one to wobble lately - both Sarah and Hannah have written about the very same thing - but if you have any tips or just reassurances that it'll be alright, I would dearly love to hear from you.

Come say hello:

At the tender age of 3 months, the Bean was hauled onto his first plane. By me, on my own, seriously questioning both my sanity and competence as a parent. But we survived, and since then we have travelled by air together countless times - short haul, long haul, stupidly epic 33 hour-haul. I'm now watching some of my friends prepare to take their babies abroad for the first time, so I thought it might be useful to share what I've Learned About Luggage.

Although what you need to take (and leave behind!) does evolve as they grow older, two things remain absolutely clear to me:

1. You don’t need half as much stuff as you think you do
   
2. Organisation is key

In this post I want to share what I think are truly essential items when travelling by air with a baby, and what I think you don’t need to worry about.

BEFORE YOU GO:

Check out your airline's luggage policy for accompanying infants. Some will allow you to take a separate carry-on for your baby and some will not, which will determine how much you can take on board in total. Most airlines will allow you to take a collapsible buggy up to the gate, and some will also let you check one other large item (such as a car seat or travel cot) into the hold free of charge.

Research whether the brand of formula/baby food you prefer is available in your destination country. If it is, you can just buy it there once you arrive rather than carting it all with you in your hold luggage.

If you know anyone with children at your destination, ask to borrow as many big items as possible - cot, high chair, a buggy, toys, etc.

Have an honest chat with yourself about how much carry-on luggage you can actually carry. A change bag, a small wheelie suitcase, a buggy and a baby may seem doable when you've got your feet still firmly on the ground, but after 10+ hours in the air you will be tired and sore. Stuff will have gotten disorganised, in and out of the bags. The buggy will refuse to fold up and if it does, the baby will refuse to go in it. The less you have to carry, the better so be ruthless - your future travel-weary self will thank you for it.

HUNGRY BABY - breastfeeding   

Nothing, other than a cover-up for you if you wish. Boob on tap will suffice (especially during take-off & landing!)

HUNGRY BABY - formula feeding

1. ready-to-pour formula milk, or formula powder already measured out into the required no. of feeds. You can get special, easy-pour containers for this.
2. enough clean, empty bottles for the required no. of feeds. Once you get through security you can ask for tap water or buy as many bottles of mineral water* as you’ll need and ask airport/flight staff to heat the water up for you.
   
   

HUNGRY BABY - solid food

1. finger food in a ziploc bag or small Tupperware. Ideally it won’t be smushable, so things like breadsticks, crackers and dried fruit are good options.
   If your baby is still eating only pureed food, make your life easy and don’t bother bringing any. It can be a pain to get through security (was I once frisked over a pot of purée? Yes I was). Also, the potential for mess is far too great! At that age they will be totally fine on just milk for a while, even if your journey takes all day.
2. a non-spill sippy cup that you can fill up with tap water or mineral water* once you're through security.
3. 2-3 bibs
4. an empty ziploc for dirties
   

MUCKY BABY

1. 1 pack of wet wipes
2. no. of nappies required + extra in case of delays
3. 1 travel changing mat
   
4. spare clothes divided into 3 ziplocs: 1 with trousers, 1 with t-shirts, 1 with extra bits like socks & hats. Squeeze as much air out of the ziplocs as you can to save space.
5. 1 big empty ziploc for dirties
6. one set of clean clothes for each accompanying adult (because you KNOW baby will be sick on you when you’ve still got 10+ hours to go)

SLEEPY BABY

1. 1 sling, as compact & fiddle-free as possible (I like the BabyHawk because it comes with a little travel bag. Also useful is a simple fabric ring-sling which can double as a blanket).
2. baby’s usual comfort thingie - dummy, lovey, etc.
3. 1 lightweight shawl (which could be a ring-sling, see above) for warmth, or to cover their buggy/travel cot with if it’s too bright to sleep.

HAPPY (AND VERY AWAKE) BABY

1. 2 small toys, of which one is a favourite and one is new for extra entertainment value. If you don't have any space for toys, think creatively - your car keys, wallet or glasses case will probably do too!
2. 2 books, of which one is a favourite and one is new for extra entertainment value.
3. a muslin or fabric sling (see above) for playing peekaboo
4. well-oiled vocal cords for singing

SICK BABY (THOUGH HOPEFULLY NOT!)

Pack these in a Tupperware and store it somewhere you can easily get to, like the front pocket of your carry-on bag, in case it needs to be inspected.

1. a thermometer
2. teething gel
3. teething ring
4. baby paracetamol
5. rehydration salts suitable for children

* Some brands of mineral water contain too much sodium (salt) to be suitable for babies, so do your research on which brands are okay to use in advance if possible. That said, you may temporarily prefer any brand of mineral water over tap water if you're not sure the latter is safe to drink where you are.

In addition to the obvious - suitable (but easy to wear & wash) clothes and footwear for everyone! - you might want to think about taking (or leaving) the following:

TAKE

1. a spare of every one of baby's usual comfort thingy - dummy, lovey, favourite blankie, etc.
2. your preferred brand of formula/baby food, but only if you use them and if they're not available to buy in your destination country (see above)
3. your preferred brand of sun cream, mosquito repellent and nappy cream, but only if you'll need them and they are not available in your destination country.
4. a travel cot, but only if you're certain you can't borrow one and/or your hotel won't provide one (which is very rare).
5. a travel (booster) seat if you can't borrow a high chair at your destination and/or you're reluctant to use restaurant high chairs. We've never tried any but I like the look of this one by Totseat or this one by Tomy.
6. travel black-out blinds. Whether this is really necessary depends on how light a sleeper your baby is and what they are used to at home. This fold-up, portable one by the Gro Company is a little heavy but it does work very well.
7. a tiny night light to make feeds, nappy changes and random wake-ups easier to deal with. We swear by this super-dinky one from IKEA.

LEAVE

1. more toys. You might think you'll need them to keep your baby entertained at your destination, but in my experience being in a different environment is often entertainment enough.
2. baby's toiletries, wipes & nappies - unless your baby needs a specific brand that is hard to find, you will most likely be able to buy what you need at your destination.
3. travel bath tub - there is nothing wrong with bathing your baby in  the sink.
4. baby cutlery - it's perfectly okay to give your baby a stainless steel teaspoon as opposed to a plastic baby spoon.
5. baby's bedding - unless they are very attached to a specific blankie, you'll probably be able to make do with what is on hand at your destination. An adult bed sheet can be folded several times to fit around a cot mattress, for example.

Have you travelled by plane with your baby? What do you think of my list - would you add or remove anything? Do you have a favourite, must-have travel item? I'd love to hear about it!

PLEASE NOTE:
The product links contained in this post are not affiliate links, nor have I been compensated in any way for mentioning the companies that make/sell these products.

Come say hello:

About this time last year, when he was 17 months, we started our toilet-training journey with the Bean. It involved little other than a simple potty and a very naked little boy. Oh and lots and LOTS of muslins to wipe up the "misses". Thank goodness we have a stone floor.

It was a very gradual one, this journey, one which Lucy over at the Lulastic blog coined "stress-free" potty training (in a really great and useful post, by the way!). Stress-free and ultimately successful in that the Bean ditched the nappies during the day (and stopped "missing"!) at 2 years and 3 weeks. 4 months later he decided he didn't want them at night anymore either, and that was that.

Stress-free, certainly, but pretty darn messy. In hindsight, would training pants have helped? We did try them once, a pack of disposable pull-ups. I was horrified at them. The expense, the waste, the uselessness of them. They can only hold one wee, and the Bean would always do that one wee. They didn't help "train" him at all (he didn't get the difference between the pull-ups and the ordinary nappies) and they were horrendously difficult to remove when he'd done a poo. We didn't even get through the entire pack before we decided we'd rather go naked. Eventually we persuaded him to wear ordinary underpants.

In hindsight though, I wish we'd thought of trying some washable training pants. Perhaps from 20 months onwards, when he became interested in dressing himself and could start to understand the concept of pulling off his pants before weeing.

Ones such as the 2-in-1 Swim Diaper & Training Pants that Charlie Banana sent us recently. We were big fans of their washable nappies and even though our toilet-training journey is done, I still happily accepted them: they double up as bomb-proof swim pants! Until I know I can trust him 100% in the pool, these will be our pool bag must-have.

We were sent two types to try: the "Ahoy" print without snaps (left) and the "Blackbeary" print with snaps (right). Don't they look funky? Read on to find out how we got on with them. And if you want to win a pair of Ahoy 2-in-1 swim & training pants, plus a lovely waterproof tote bag to carry it in, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the post!

DESIGN

Both the non-snap and snap version of this washable 2-in-1 swim/training diaper is well-designed. The elasticated waist and gusset ensure a snug fit to help contain any messes. The outer lining is waterproof, while the inner lining is made of a soft, organic cotton that is kind to the skin.

Both versions have an absorbent panel sewn into the middle, capable of coping with one wee before you need to change it.

The 2-in-1 Swim Diaper & Training Pants with Snaps is the newer version. Each side has two snaps, designed to make it easier to remove the pants in case of "solid accidents"...

COMFORT & FIT

Both versions are very easy for a toddler to pull on and off by themselves, and once on they are snug and comfortable. I was concerned about the elasticated waist and gusset leaving pressure marks after a while, but this wasn't the case at all. They allow a complete range of movement, whether as training pants... [ENTER TRUSTY SABOTAGER-SORRY-ASSISTANT]

... or swim pants (please forgive the graininess of the underwater photos - my friend kindly lent me both her child and underwater camera for this review, but it turns out photographing two wriggly boys is really hard!).

The sizing is a little off, in my opinion. I opted for the large size in both versions, which is meant to cover a weight range of 9 to 12 kg (21 to 27 lbs). As you can see from the picture below, however, the version without snaps comes up slightly larger.

This wasn't an issue for us - we put the Blackbeary with the snaps on our skinny Bean, and gave the Ahoy without snaps to my friend's slightly chunkier boy! So in the end everyone was happy. If you're looking to buy a pair, however, my advice would be to size up for the version with snaps and to size down for the version without snaps if you're in doubt (you can of course also check the Charlie Banana website for a size chart).

PERFORMANCE

The waterproof outer lining means that the wee stays in the pants, whether you're underwater or not (nice to know if you're sharing pool water!). On the day we went swimming the Bean remembered to go to the toilet, but if he had done a wee it would have been a small matter to take them off and rinse them under a cold tap (you can then wash them at 40° C).

Although neither child obliged by doing a pooh-nami in the pool, given the snug fit I have no doubt that these swim/training pants would have contained them! I was, in any case, quite grateful for the snaps on the Bean's pants - when we were done swimming he was tired, grumpy and cold and I needed to whip them off fast.

LOOKS

We all really liked both the prints. And if you don't, Charlie Banana have 3 more to choose from in the version with snaps, and 36 more in the version without snaps!

On the bum they look puffier than underpants but slimmer than an ordinary nappy, which is what you'd expect from a swim nappy or training pants.

PRICE

Last but not least, what do these lovelies cost? The 2-in-1 Swim Diaper & Training Pants (no snaps) is currently available in the UK for around £8.50. The version with snaps will be available later in the summer for more or less the same price (it's currently only available in the USA). I think this is fair for the quality and longevity of the garment.

Charlie Banana recommend you have at least 4 per day while potty-training, meaning an up-front cost of at least £34 if you were to wash daily (they do dry very fast). That's quite a lot, especially compared to the price of disposable pull-ups. However, do bear in mind these can be used for more than one child. If you don't have any more children of your own, they also have an excellent re-sell value. If you're in the UK I can't recommend this pre-loved cloth nappy group on facebook enough.

SO... WOULD I RECOMMEND THEM?

Yes, definitely. They are versatile, comfortable and look great. They are also a much more ecological option that disposable training pants, as they wash at 40° C, can be handed down and obviously don't create enormous amounts of landfill! By opting for Charlie Banana training pants you would also be helping to support two charities, Operation Smile and Project Child Save.

Would you like to win a pair of Charlie Banana2-in-1 Swim Diaper & Training Pants, as well as a waterproof tote bag to carry it in? Just enter using the Rafflecopter thingummy-jig below! The giveaway is open worldwide. A winner will be drawn at random once the giveaway has closed and notified via email. The prize will be sent directly by Charlie Banana.

Disclosure: I was sent two pairs of 2-in-1 Swim Diaper & Training Pants for the purpose of this review. All words and opinions are genuine and my own.

Should you find yourself in Milan, for the Expo 2015, a trade fair or a good old shopping trip, remember to look up. Tear yourself away from the covetable handbags, the gelato, your negroni and look way, way up: to the roof of the city. For you could stand on top of it.

The Duomo of Milan was first commissioned in 1386 and is dedicated to the St Mary of the Nativity. It took no less than 6 centuries to complete. When the local Milanese speak of the "Fabrica del Dom", they are referring to a seemingly never-ending litany... Indeed, when we first arrived here four years ago large parts of it were shrouded in scaffolding for refurbishment, but it was all for a good cause: now that the Expo is here the works are finished and so, if you do find yourself in Milan, you simply have to go up there. I'll let the photos convince you of this.

(Scroll all the way down for practical info on admission times, etc.)

Price
For 13€ you can zip up to the top of the Duomo of Milan in a lovely, comfortable lift. For €8 you could drag yourself up all 165 steps (can you tell which I would recommend?).

Opening Times
9:00 to 23:00 daily (this may change once the Expo is over).

Top Tips

• Pick a crystal-clear day, preferably with at least some wind, to make the most of the views.
  
• Make your way up 30 minutes before sunset to witness some spectacular changes in the scenery.
• Arm yourself with plenty of patience and a thick skin - the walkways are narrow and everyone is up there to get the best shots, so elbows are sharp and tempers short. 
• Taking small children up to the roof is totally fine - our toddler loved all the arches - but you do of course have to keep a very close eye on them.
  

Come say hello:

I’m not sure when the self-confidence I took for granted pre-Bean started making its come-back, given that it had disappeared almost in an instant. 48 hours, possibly less, into motherhood and at the sight of my tiny baby’s spinach-green poo, the realisation that I had no idea what I was doing slapped me round the chops. A slap that did nothing to alleviate the already crushing tiredness, and everything to make me flap. The nurse came, tutting, and stuck my baby under a tap. He mewled and I flapped.

I feel like I’ve been flapping ever since. For the past 2 years, 4 months and 7 days, my entire being has focussed on only one thing: keeping that baby happy no matter what. “Happy” in the broadest sense of the term: fed, watered, at the right temperature, entertained, soothed, stimulated, content, reassured. Whatever bar you could think of I, as a parent, set it as high as I possibly could and pursued it with a sweaty brow and a mild but unwavering sense of panic. I’m a flapping parent.

I’m the kind of parent who hovers over her sleeping baby, removing, then replacing, then removing, then half-replacing the blanket as a compromise in the quest to achieve a “safe” temperature (if, of course, the baby is still asleep at that point and there is anything left to achieve). Who detests the over-marketing of baby gear but still stands rooted to the spot in the pharmacy for half an hour, trying to decide on the fluorescent dummy as opposed to the “normal” one. Who jumps at every tear, every request for more water or crackers, and feels intensely guilty when anything has to be enforced. And yet still frets that she’s being too lax. I’m the kind of parent who will chase their child round the playground, figuratively and literally flapping with the sunhat.

I drive myself nuts, doing all this. But then, yesterday: a revelation. The Bean refused to get dressed in the morning, and I didn’t flap. He ate only half of his breakfast, and I didn’t fret. He wanted to take his push cart out with him, and I didn’t mentally pre-apologise to all the other pedestrians who’d have their ankles bashed. I realised 20 minutes into our walk that I’d left his dummy at home, and I didn’t rush back for it nor bought another one. We had to wait for Daddy for half an hour, and I didn’t immediately conclude all hell would break loose. He fell asleep way, way later than he’s “supposed to” in the afternoon, but I remained a picture of icy calm. He watched an hour of TV, and I didn’t see the gates of failed parenting hell open before my very eyes. The bedtime routine became a no-tine for the nth night running but I did. not. flap.

I got to 10PM and I realised I had finally, 2 years and 4 months and 7 days in, spent a whole day enjoying parenthood for what it was: wearying, full of worry, truly wonderful. I’ve no idea how it happened but, well, it was probably about time.

Come say hello:

It’s a tricky age bracket, 12 to 18 months. Baby toys are no longer interesting, and yet the toys that do appeal are too dangerous, or too difficult, or both. It’s also during this period that many children start becoming interested in the everyday chores their parents do: sweeping, cleaning, chopping. The desire to copy and get involved is very, very strong. In addition, skills like the pincer grip and hand-eye coordination are really starting to improve.

When looking for ways to keep our then 18-month-old toddler busy and entertained, I often had a wander around Montessori-inspired blogs (my favourite one being Sixtine et Victoire). I like the Montessori principle of ‘following the child’s lead’ - you present them with activities that tap into the interests they show rather than what they ‘should’ be doing at their age. For example, to the Bean at that age blocks were still very much for knocking down when someone else had stacked them, even though you will see a lot of stacking toys targeted at 12 to 18-month-olds. This is isn’t a problem - he was just more interested in other skills, such as scooping and sorting.

Another thing I like about the Montessori method is to look for activities that help the child practice useful life skills. Many of the activities below require concentration, and some, like the activity with the spoon or the cloth, involve skills he needs to use at the dinner table. And then there are the blatant “I’m turning my child into a house elf” activities, like sweeping and peeling. He's still like this at 28 months and hey, it’s what he wants to do so who am I to say no?

So here goes, if you're in need of inspiration:

1. Sorting (version 1)
Set up a simple sorting activity using a large ice-cube tray and coloured blocks (the ones in the picture are from a Hape toy  that remained too difficult for him until he was about two. But rather than put it away I decided to re-think it a bit!).

2. Sorting (version 2)
This sorting activity uses scrabble tiles, which are fiddly and therefore harder to pick up than the blocks in Sorting V1. My toddler also thought it was very funny to hear me sound out all the letters. The box, which is meant to be used for storing nails, was filched from Mr P&P's tool kit.
NOTE: the scrabble tiles are a CHOKING HAZARD. Watch that toddler like a HAWK.

3. Sweeping 
Give toddler a broom = happy toddler
Obsessed toddler, in fact, as mine has insisted on sweeping bits of floor EVERY DAY since he was 12 months. The broom is the real deal and cost about €3 from our local market. Any small hand-held broom or brush will do.

4. Scooping
Very keen to practice his scooping skills, this activity using nothing but a spoon and a watering can (which you could of course substitute for a bowl or mug) went down very well with our toddler. As he was outside on the balcony, I didn't need to stop him throwing the water on the floor either...

5. Wiping
Much like with the broom obsession, give a toddler a damp cloth and they will happily wipe away for a while. What I personally also like about this activity is that it helps pave the way to independence - spills are much less of a big deal if you know how to wipe them up yourself.

6. Peeling & Cutting
The kitchen has long been a place of endless fascination for the Bean, and at 17 months he was just about old enough to start helping with things like peeling and cutting under very strict supervision. If that gives you the heebiejeebies, you could let them help you wash vegetables and fruit instead.

7. Sensory play - water
There’s nothing better on a hot day than a washing-up bowl with water and a plastic cup for scooping. You can easily make it more interesting by putting some stones in the bowl, or by piercing holes in the bottom of the cup so your toddler can make it "rain".

8. Sensory play - lotion
Best done after a bath, so they can learn to put lotion on themselves when they need to! Any mess on the floor takes seconds to wipe up with a damp cloth.
NOTE: don’t let your child try to stand up in any spilled lotion…

So there you have them, 8 Montessori-inspired toddler activities that need very little in terms of preparation or materials! Now tell me, does you little one go mad for sweeping or sorting? What activities do you think should be added to the list?

Come say hello:

The morning after the night before: sitting at MY table in MY living room looking at MY stunning view of the Alps behind MY Milan, rain-drenched as it was, the day after coming back from our reconnaisance trip to Sweden. The first morning back at home.

Except that technically, it isn’t home. The flat is rented and most of the furniture in it isn’t ours either, we’ve only been in Milan for 4 years, don’t have any family in Italy at all. But it was undeniable: in my post-travel daze I felt warm and fuzzy, comfortable and content, here. Which is funny, because although I feel like we’ve come a long way, settling in here wasn’t easy and I still have plenty of negative things to say about this city.

In any case, soon here will be there. In 3 months or so we will move to Sweden and start all over again. Start again how? What makes home home? How do you feel at home in a country that isn’t yours? That morning after the night before got us thinking.

Perhaps home is the place in which you know your way around without really having to think about it. Where to go for the everyday basics, where buying a stamp doesn’t seem like a herculean task, where you know which tram gets you from A to B fastest.

It’s also the place about which you know a few little secrets. Knowledge of the locals, if you like, which is guaranteed to make you feel like you belong. Where to get the creamiest burrata or the richest hot chocolate. When to climb to the top of the Duomo to get the best sunset. What the trick is to getting a few extra strawberries lobbed into your shopping bag at the market.

Home is where there is routine. There is chaos in the morning and stillness during the day and chaos again at night, but I know when the chaos and stillness occur. I feel like I know what will come tomorrow, and the day after, and it is comforting and normal.

It’s where bureaucratic palaver is still irritating but no longer terrifying. It can be tackled without help but with much swearing - in the local language, of course.

Home is the place of adopted habits, though without being able to pinpoint when or how this became so. When did I start thinking post-lunch macchiato was essential to my survival, and HOW did I become one of those people who interrupts others mid-spiel?

It’s where you’ve made memories, though you might not have realised that at the time either. Our first Italian Christmas, the grubby little playground around the corner where the Bean’s bum is practically imprinted on the slide, we go there so often. So often without giving it a thought at the time, but I’m certain I’ll remember that slide, those benches, the daisies he picked for me in that playground, long after we’ve left.

So very soon here will become there, and we have to start all over again. There are moments when the thought fills me with fear, but then I remind myself: we have made a strange place home before. We can do it again. 

Come say hello:

Two weeks ago I made a big announcement here: we are moving to Sweden. It's the start of what I hope will be a great adventure, but for us it actually all began about a month before our announcement! In mid-March it became clear that leaving Italy was a real possibility, and as we tried to make a decision I wrote down some of the things going through my head. I couldn't not write them down. As part of the Moving to Sweden section on this blog, I'll be publishing those posts retrospectively over the coming weeks. As always, I'd love to hear your reaction in the comments section below.

As I write this Mr P&P is in Cambridge, discussing a potential future. Next week we will all go to southern Sweden for a few days, to discuss an entirely different potential future. Is it possible to lead parallel lives?

And in the meantime it’s business as usual here in Milan. The Bean is playing cars with his bestie at nursery, the magnolias are finally in bloom after another germ-ridden winter. We’re making plans for a picnic with friends here, a trip to a wedding later in the year there. Is it possible to lead parallel lives in triplicate?

My head is in a complete spin, I quite literally don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Or actually, that’s not true: we ARE going. Somewhere. Because either of these opportunities would do very nicely. Because, no matter which way we look at it, there is no future here for us in Italy. They’ve been good to us, these four and a bit years in Milan, but it’s time to go.

At some point soon, possibly within months, we will go.

But no, sshhh, let’s not talk about that yet. For as long as possible, let’s try to ward off the heady cocktail of excitement and panic that is sure to hit as soon as the confirmation letter has been sent, the contract signed. Try not to walk around the flat while mentally putting things in boxes or giving them to the charity shop. Try not to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of having to find or conquer so many things in a short space of time: home, nursery, possibly a new language.

No, shhh. Enjoy the quiet before the storm. Hold on to it for dear life. Enjoy the magnolia, the Italian sunshine on my back as I watch my toddler play, blissfully unaware of his parents’ turmoil (or is he? Are the nightmares he’s been having almost every night indicative of a deeper understanding than we give him credit for?), filling and dumping out his new digger over and over. Do nothing, say nothing, plan nothing.

Come say hello:

When I had a bit of a moan on this blog about how hard it is to find bright, comfortable trousers for a toddler boy, the lovely Ruth from unisex & ethical children’s retailer loveitloveitloveit asked whether we'd like some bottoms. I said, yes please. We’ll have some bottoms.

Specifically, I said I'd have some lightweight, funky bottoms for a 3+ boy (he’s two but kinda lanky, and in any case I hate getting only a few months’ wear out of clothes so I tend to size up and roll up!). Loveitloveitloveit has a huge selection of unisex clothes to cover ages  0 to 10, so we had lots of choice (see more on that below). In the end I went for toucan-print trousers by the brand Boys&Girls. I just could not resist the toucans. Here's how we got on with the toucans...

Funk and unisexiness: 10/10
The base colour is a lovely vibrant red rather than raspberry, the colour that so often puts the kibosh on girl’s trousers being okay for boys too. The toucans are just so cool, and don’t obviously have a “for boys” or “for girls” look. They can be teamed with all manner of bright t-shirts and luckily, the Bean agrees they're fabulous.

Comfort: 10/10
These are comfortable for the Bean to wear, in a way that lots of high-street boy’s chinos and jeans just aren’t (because they're restrictive and stiff, which is no good for a child who moves. And my goodness this boy does). The loose fit, supple fabric and elasticated waistband means they’re also easy for him to pull on and off himself - very important when getting to the potty in time can still be a bit tricky!
They’re very lightweight, making them perfect for spring picnics in Milan as well as the cooler summer evenings that await us in Sweden :-)

Fit: 9/10
As these are nice and loose (unlike some leggings) they will happily fit boys and girls of different builds. The fold-over cuffs mean they sit snugly at the ankle if they’re still a bit too long. If they’re much too long, as these were (we went for a size 4-5 for extra long wear!) and you're not keen on roll-ups, they’re quite easy to tuck in under the cuff and sew in place on the inside:

My only criticism of the fit is the waistband: although it’s elasticated it’s still “straight up and down” rather than a little cinched, which is just too loose for a skinny bean like mine and isn’t resolved by going down a size. It is, however, very easily resolved by opening up a bit of the waistband and threading through a tighter elastic, then sewing it back up again.

Quality: 8.5/10
Like all of Boys&Girls' clothes these trousers are made of 100% certified organic cotton, which feels very soft. I expect the colours to fade over time, but a few washes in the red is still nice and vibrant. As the cotton is quite thin it's starting to bobble a bit on the bum already, and I’m not sure whether the knees will stand up to adventure and general toddlerishness... However, I'm aware I asked for summery, lightweight trousers so I probably should have expected this!

Value for money: 9/10
Priced at £18 these aren’t the cheapest bottoms for toddlers on the market, but they’re not the most expensive either. I feel the price is a good reflection of what you get: a pair of well-made, funky-looking organic trousers that can be easily adjusted (with some basic sewing skills if necessary) to ensure longevity and, most importantly, which can be worn by and then handed down to either a boy or a girl.

So, all in all, we're very pleased and wouldn't hesitate to recommend this fabulous pair of bottoms. Thank you very much, loveitloveitloveit! I’m sure our paths will cross again, when we’re on the lookout for more gorgeous, unisex clothes:

Disclosure: I was sent a pair of Boys&Girls toucan trousers for the purpose of this review, but all opinions are genuine and my own.

Come say hello: