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The quiet before the storm

5/13/2015

31 Comments

 
Two weeks ago I made a big announcement here: we are moving to Sweden. It's the start of what I hope will be a great adventure, but for us it actually all began about a month before our announcement! In mid-March it became clear that leaving Italy was a real possibility, and as we tried to make a decision I wrote down some of the things going through my head. I couldn't not write them down. As part of the Moving to Sweden section on this blog, I'll be publishing those posts retrospectively over the coming weeks. As always, I'd love to hear your reaction in the comments section below.

Moving to Sweden - The quiet before the storm

As I write this Mr P&P is in Cambridge, discussing a potential future. Next week we will all go to southern Sweden for a few days, to discuss an entirely different potential future. Is it possible to lead parallel lives?

And in the meantime it’s business as usual here in Milan. The Bean is playing cars with his bestie at nursery, the magnolias are finally in bloom after another germ-ridden winter. We’re making plans for a picnic with friends here, a trip to a wedding later in the year there. Is it possible to lead parallel lives in triplicate?

My head is in a complete spin, I quite literally don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Or actually, that’s not true: we ARE going. Somewhere. Because either of these opportunities would do very nicely. Because, no matter which way we look at it, there is no future here for us in Italy. They’ve been good to us, these four and a bit years in Milan, but it’s time to go.

At some point soon, possibly within months, we will go.

But no, sshhh, let’s not talk about that yet. For as long as possible, let’s try to ward off the heady cocktail of excitement and panic that is sure to hit as soon as the confirmation letter has been sent, the contract signed. Try not to walk around the flat while mentally putting things in boxes or giving them to the charity shop. Try not to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of having to find or conquer so many things in a short space of time: home, nursery, possibly a new language.

No, shhh. Enjoy the quiet before the storm. Hold on to it for dear life. Enjoy the magnolia, the Italian sunshine on my back as I watch my toddler play, blissfully unaware of his parents’ turmoil (or is he? Are the nightmares he’s been having almost every night indicative of a deeper understanding than we give him credit for?), filling and dumping out his new digger over and over. Do nothing, say nothing, plan nothing.
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31 Comments
Sarah link
5/14/2015 02:37:20 am

Moving to another country is a massive undertaking - I certainly don't envy you the organisation! What an adventure it's going to be though x

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/15/2015 04:31:08 am

It certainly is an adventure, which is pretty much what's keeping me going through the organisation at the moment! x

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TinyExpats link
5/14/2015 05:27:31 am

Oh, I can totally relate! Right now, we have no idea yet, whether we are staying or moving again. After so many moves, I kind of got used to this process, but still each time it does sound daunting - so much needs to be done! I'll just take your advise and relax without thinking much about it :)

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/15/2015 04:32:45 am

Ha, I thought I was used to the process too but I'm finding out that moving with a little one is a different challenge altogether! I'm all for not thinking about it too much, otherwise you end up a little mad... ;-)

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Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) link
5/14/2015 07:13:34 am

Mentally putting things in boxes. That is just made a mark in my head.

Its always so exhausting to move so enjoy that calmness that you are in now while you still can =)

#myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/15/2015 04:33:29 am

Thanks Merlinda. It's exciting but yes, it's also very, very exhausting.

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Laura Wolf link
5/14/2015 07:20:04 am

I think that is the hardest part of this expat life, the not knowing, the not being in control. We signed a 2 year contract for Taiwan but they are already trying to extend that....we just aren't sure how long we want to stay. I hope your decision goes smoothly.

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/18/2015 03:01:45 am

Not knowing definitely feels like not being in control, which is very stressful. However, I always tried to remind myself that we were lucky to have choices at all, no matter how indecisive we feel. I'm also convinced there is no "wrong" decision in all this either. The difficulty simply lies in figuring out what you want and what would be best for the family, which is exhausting but ultimately I'm sure everything will work out. I hope you manage to figure it all out too!

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MOMM link
5/14/2015 08:34:17 am

I can't even begin to imagine all the craziness inside your head right now regarding the Big move!! It is always nerve racking but I wish you all the best! Until then enjoy the mozerella and piazzas! #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/18/2015 03:06:37 am

Haha, thank you, I will! Especially as I will miss both of those very much...

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Phoebe @ Lou Messugo link
5/14/2015 12:58:02 pm

Sweden....I would LOVE to live in Sweden! I hope everything works out for you soon (and I'm bummed you can't stay with us for that wedding!)

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/18/2015 03:07:35 am

Thank you, and yes it's such a shame the timing for the wedding didn't work out :-( It would have been great to meet you!

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Californian Mum in London link
5/14/2015 03:59:08 pm

What an exciting move, yet I am sure a bit scary too. I can't imagine moving to a different country with kids, though I would expect it to be such an enriching experience in the long-run.

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/18/2015 03:09:27 am

In all honesty I can't imagine doing a move like this with a kid either - M was born in Italy and has never known anything else! But we are going to find out soon what it's like... And obviously I hope it will benefit him in the long run too. I hope I hope!

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Seychellesmama link
5/14/2015 10:02:59 pm

Oh Eline I'm covered in goosebumps reading this post. I know we now know you're going to Sweden (which I'm super excited about seeing more of through your blog by the way), but oh my gosh I can just feel that need to keep hold and enjoy the 'quiet before the storm!' I bet it all feels like a distant memory already!!!
As always I loved this and as always thank you so much for sharing with #myexpatfamily
Xx

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/18/2015 03:39:10 am

Ha, you've hit the nail on the head - it felt odd publishing this as it really does feel like a distant memory already! Still, it's part of the story and it was important for me to capture it at the time. But now, quiet? No, definitely not! Xx

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Emma Raphael link
5/15/2015 03:50:36 am

We lived in Copenhagen for 2 years before we moved here, and would often pop over the bridge to Sweden for trips, and supermarket shopping! I am sure you will love it, it's very beautiful! :) #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:37:47 am

Ooh you will have to give me some shopping tips for Sweden - I know NOTHING about anything Swedish as this has all been going so fast! I do know it's beautiful though. When we were there for a few days last month I was completely blown away by it all (almost literally too - we're not used to a sea breeze here in Milan!).

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Keri @ Baby Globetrotters link
5/15/2015 04:49:27 am

I do not envy your position right now! The longer the lead time the more your head can play tricks on you. The little ones are capable of handling things relatively better than us and pick up new friends so quickly. As for boxing things up...

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:39:16 am

You're absolutely right, and in fact I feel almost relieved now that the decision is made and the packing can start. I really do not enjoy the packing, but at least my mind isn't going round in circles anymore.

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Rossi | Rossi Writes link
5/15/2015 08:04:52 am

Good luck with your move and the thought process. At this time last year we were planning our move from the UK to Italy, so I understand your position. Sweden sounds like a wonderful destination, so I will keep an eye on your blog to learn more about it and your plans. Best wishes! #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:40:09 am

Thanks for your lovely comment Rossi!

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Amanda link
5/17/2015 01:40:54 am

Oh yes, the quiet before the storm... it's an odd kind of quiet, isn't it? Filled with impatience to just get cracking (all that mental packing is exhausting, right?!) and a determination to enjoy every last moment even though you know it's the right time to move on.

Speaking from the other side of a move (and finally getting a breather after weeks of moving, starting two new jobs, and living out of boxes!) you need to store up as much energy as possible before the move, as it gets crazy as hell for a while ;)

Good luck with it all xx

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:42:08 am

Thanks for the advice, lovely :-) Now that the decision is made and the packing has started, I am realising just how crazy the next few months of my life are going to be... Although at least it's not so much of a mental exhaustion anymore Xx

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Elisa link
5/17/2015 03:05:02 pm

I see it as exciting times and I'm sure your kids will soon adapt to the new life, we underestimate how good our little ones are with changes. Best of luck, Sweden is a gorgeous country, you will love it xx

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:42:52 am

Thanks Elisa, I hope we will love it too ;-) Xx

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Brittany link
5/18/2015 11:45:44 pm

This was so beautifully written. I identify with this so much - my husband and I are moving to Kyrgyzstan from Korea in August but have known since January. I wish I could pull my thoughts away from the planning and plotting and just enjoy where we are, but it's so so hard. Thank you for putting into words what I've been feeling!

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/19/2015 03:46:09 am

Thank you for your lovely comment, Brittany. Yes, it's really hard and I don't think there's a solution to it other than just trying your best to stay calm and in the moment. I don't do very well with that at all, and sometimes I have to allow myself to plot and plan, however early, just to feel like I've something tangible to do. It'll get better as you get swept up in the madness of the move - you'll be too physically tired to dwell on any of it very much!

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Polly Mixtures link
5/21/2015 01:15:18 pm

You are such a good writer. Out of all the blogs I follow, yours has to be one of the most pleasurable to read. I love your use of language. In regards to the subject of your post, what an exciting new adventure lies ahead of you. I don't envy you in regards to all the organising though! #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
5/22/2015 04:33:57 am

Aw Polly, what a lovely compliment - you've made me blush! As for the organising... yes well, I wouldn't envy me either ;-)

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Sara | mumturnedmom link
6/9/2015 09:29:47 am

Gosh, I'm just catching up now (it's been one of those months, which explains my very late visit from #myexpatfamily and my general need for a catch up on your plans!). It all sounds exciting, but I can understand the turmoil, so much to plan, do, organise. Not to mention the emotional fall-out that comes with any big move...

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