Pasta & Patchwork
  • Home
  • About P&P
  • Patterns
  • Recipes
  • Projects
  • Product Reviews

The day I didn't flap

5/28/2015

8 Comments

 
I’m not sure when the self-confidence I took for granted pre-Bean started making its come-back, given that it had disappeared almost in an instant. 48 hours, possibly less, into motherhood and at the sight of my tiny baby’s spinach-green poo, the realisation that I had no idea what I was doing slapped me round the chops. A slap that did nothing to alleviate the already crushing tiredness, and everything to make me flap. The nurse came, tutting, and stuck my baby under a tap. He mewled and I flapped.

I feel like I’ve been flapping ever since. For the past 2 years, 4 months and 7 days, my entire being has focussed on only one thing: keeping that baby happy no matter what. “Happy” in the broadest sense of the term: fed, watered, at the right temperature, entertained, soothed, stimulated, content, reassured. Whatever bar you could think of I, as a parent, set it as high as I possibly could and pursued it with a sweaty brow and a mild but unwavering sense of panic. I’m a flapping parent.

I’m the kind of parent who hovers over her sleeping baby, removing, then replacing, then removing, then half-replacing the blanket as a compromise in the quest to achieve a “safe” temperature (if, of course, the baby is still asleep at that point and there is anything left to achieve). Who detests the over-marketing of baby gear but still stands rooted to the spot in the pharmacy for half an hour, trying to decide on the fluorescent dummy as opposed to the “normal” one. Who jumps at every tear, every request for more water or crackers, and feels intensely guilty when anything has to be enforced. And yet still frets that she’s being too lax. I’m the kind of parent who will chase their child round the playground, figuratively and literally flapping with the sunhat.

I drive myself nuts, doing all this. But then, yesterday: a revelation. The Bean refused to get dressed in the morning, and I didn’t flap. He ate only half of his breakfast, and I didn’t fret. He wanted to take his push cart out with him, and I didn’t mentally pre-apologise to all the other pedestrians who’d have their ankles bashed. I realised 20 minutes into our walk that I’d left his dummy at home, and I didn’t rush back for it nor bought another one. We had to wait for Daddy for half an hour, and I didn’t immediately conclude all hell would break loose. He fell asleep way, way later than he’s “supposed to” in the afternoon, but I remained a picture of icy calm. He watched an hour of TV, and I didn’t see the gates of failed parenting hell open before my very eyes. The bedtime routine became a no-tine for the nth night running but I did. not. flap.
Toddler chasing bubbles
I got to 10PM and I realised I had finally, 2 years and 4 months and 7 days in, spent a whole day enjoying parenthood for what it was: wearying, full of worry, truly wonderful. I’ve no idea how it happened but, well, it was probably about time.

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
8 Comments

8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months

5/26/2015

0 Comments

 
It’s a tricky age bracket, 12 to 18 months. Baby toys are no longer interesting, and yet the toys that do appeal are too dangerous, or too difficult, or both. It’s also during this period that many children start becoming interested in the everyday chores their parents do: sweeping, cleaning, chopping. The desire to copy and get involved is very, very strong. In addition, skills like the pincer grip and hand-eye coordination are really starting to improve.

When looking for ways to keep our then 18-month-old toddler busy and entertained, I often had a wander around Montessori-inspired blogs (my favourite one being Sixtine et Victoire). I like the Montessori principle of ‘following the child’s lead’ - you present them with activities that tap into the interests they show rather than what they ‘should’ be doing at their age. For example, to the Bean at that age blocks were still very much for knocking down when someone else had stacked them, even though you will see a lot of stacking toys targeted at 12 to 18-month-olds. This is isn’t a problem - he was just more interested in other skills, such as scooping and sorting.
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Montessori inspiration from the Pasta & Patchwork blog
Another thing I like about the Montessori method is to look for activities that help the child practice useful life skills. Many of the activities below require concentration, and some, like the activity with the spoon or the cloth, involve skills he needs to use at the dinner table. And then there are the blatant “I’m turning my child into a house elf” activities, like sweeping and peeling. He's still like this at 28 months and hey, it’s what he wants to do so who am I to say no?

So here goes, if you're in need of inspiration:

Eight Cheap and (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities

8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Sorting
1. Sorting (version 1)
Set up a simple sorting activity using a large ice-cube tray and coloured blocks (the ones in the picture are from a Hape toy  that remained too difficult for him until he was about two. But rather than put it away I decided to re-think it a bit!).
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Sorting (note: do not let your toddler play with small toys unsupervised)
2. Sorting (version 2)
This sorting activity uses scrabble tiles, which are fiddly and therefore harder to pick up than the blocks in Sorting V1. My toddler also thought it was very funny to hear me sound out all the letters. The box, which is meant to be used for storing nails, was filched from Mr P&P's tool kit.
NOTE: the scrabble tiles are a CHOKING HAZARD. Watch that toddler like a HAWK.
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Sweeping
3. Sweeping 
Give toddler a broom = happy toddler
Obsessed toddler, in fact, as mine has insisted on sweeping bits of floor EVERY DAY since he was 12 months. The broom is the real deal and cost about €3 from our local market. Any small hand-held broom or brush will do.
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Scooping
4. Scooping
Very keen to practice his scooping skills, this activity using nothing but a spoon and a watering can (which you could of course substitute for a bowl or mug) went down very well with our toddler. As he was outside on the balcony, I didn't need to stop him throwing the water on the floor either...
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Wiping up spills
5. Wiping
Much like with the broom obsession, give a toddler a damp cloth and they will happily wipe away for a while. What I personally also like about this activity is that it helps pave the way to independence - spills are much less of a big deal if you know how to wipe them up yourself.
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Peeling
6. Peeling & Cutting
The kitchen has long been a place of endless fascination for the Bean, and at 17 months he was just about old enough to start helping with things like peeling and cutting under very strict supervision.
If that gives you the heebiejeebies, you could let them help you wash vegetables and fruit instead.
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Sensory Play - Water
7. Sensory play - water
There’s nothing better on a hot day than a washing-up bowl with water and a plastic cup for scooping. You can easily make it more interesting by putting some stones in the bowl, or by piercing holes in the bottom of the cup so your toddler can make it "rain".
8 Cheap & (almost) No-Prep Toddler Activities - 12 to 18 months | Sensory Play - Lotion
8. Sensory play - lotion
Best done after a bath, so they can learn to put lotion on themselves when they need to! Any mess on the floor takes seconds to wipe up with a damp cloth.
NOTE: don’t let your child try to stand up in any spilled lotion…
So there you have them, 8 Montessori-inspired toddler activities that need very little in terms of preparation or materials! Now tell me, does you little one go mad for sweeping or sorting? What activities do you think should be added to the list?

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
Tots100 MAD Blog Awards
0 Comments

What makes home home?

5/18/2015

23 Comments

 
The morning after the night before: sitting at MY table in MY living room looking at MY stunning view of the Alps behind MY Milan, rain-drenched as it was, the day after coming back from our reconnaisance trip to Sweden. The first morning back at home.
View of the Alps, as seen from Milan | Photo by Pasta & Patchwork
Except that technically, it isn’t home. The flat is rented and most of the furniture in it isn’t ours either, we’ve only been in Milan for 4 years, don’t have any family in Italy at all. But it was undeniable: in my post-travel daze I felt warm and fuzzy, comfortable and content, here. Which is funny, because although I feel like we’ve come a long way, settling in here wasn’t easy and I still have plenty of negative things to say about this city.

In any case, soon here will be there. In 3 months or so we will move to Sweden and start all over again. Start again how? What makes home home? How do you feel at home in a country that isn’t yours? That morning after the night before got us thinking.

Perhaps home is the place in which you know your way around without really having to think about it. Where to go for the everyday basics, where buying a stamp doesn’t seem like a herculean task, where you know which tram gets you from A to B fastest.

It’s also the place about which you know a few little secrets. Knowledge of the locals, if you like, which is guaranteed to make you feel like you belong. Where to get the creamiest burrata or the richest hot chocolate. When to climb to the top of the Duomo to get the best sunset. What the trick is to getting a few extra strawberries lobbed into your shopping bag at the market.
Milan sunset, as seen from the Duomo | Photo by Pasta & Patchwork
Home is where there is routine. There is chaos in the morning and stillness during the day and chaos again at night, but I know when the chaos and stillness occur. I feel like I know what will come tomorrow, and the day after, and it is comforting and normal.

It’s where bureaucratic palaver is still irritating but no longer terrifying. It can be tackled without help but with much swearing - in the local language, of course.

Home is the place of adopted habits, though without being able to pinpoint when or how this became so. When did I start thinking post-lunch macchiato was essential to my survival, and HOW did I become one of those people who interrupts others mid-spiel?

It’s where you’ve made memories, though you might not have realised that at the time either. Our first Italian Christmas, the grubby little playground around the corner where the Bean’s bum is practically imprinted on the slide, we go there so often. So often without giving it a thought at the time, but I’m certain I’ll remember that slide, those benches, the daisies he picked for me in that playground, long after we’ve left.
Toddler picking daisies | Photo by Pasta & Patchwork
So very soon here will become there, and we have to start all over again. There are moments when the thought fills me with fear, but then I remind myself: we have made a strange place home before. We can do it again. 

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
Tots100 MAD Blog Awards

Picture
23 Comments

The quiet before the storm

5/13/2015

31 Comments

 
Two weeks ago I made a big announcement here: we are moving to Sweden. It's the start of what I hope will be a great adventure, but for us it actually all began about a month before our announcement! In mid-March it became clear that leaving Italy was a real possibility, and as we tried to make a decision I wrote down some of the things going through my head. I couldn't not write them down. As part of the Moving to Sweden section on this blog, I'll be publishing those posts retrospectively over the coming weeks. As always, I'd love to hear your reaction in the comments section below.

Moving to Sweden - The quiet before the storm

As I write this Mr P&P is in Cambridge, discussing a potential future. Next week we will all go to southern Sweden for a few days, to discuss an entirely different potential future. Is it possible to lead parallel lives?

And in the meantime it’s business as usual here in Milan. The Bean is playing cars with his bestie at nursery, the magnolias are finally in bloom after another germ-ridden winter. We’re making plans for a picnic with friends here, a trip to a wedding later in the year there. Is it possible to lead parallel lives in triplicate?

My head is in a complete spin, I quite literally don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Or actually, that’s not true: we ARE going. Somewhere. Because either of these opportunities would do very nicely. Because, no matter which way we look at it, there is no future here for us in Italy. They’ve been good to us, these four and a bit years in Milan, but it’s time to go.

At some point soon, possibly within months, we will go.

But no, sshhh, let’s not talk about that yet. For as long as possible, let’s try to ward off the heady cocktail of excitement and panic that is sure to hit as soon as the confirmation letter has been sent, the contract signed. Try not to walk around the flat while mentally putting things in boxes or giving them to the charity shop. Try not to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of having to find or conquer so many things in a short space of time: home, nursery, possibly a new language.

No, shhh. Enjoy the quiet before the storm. Hold on to it for dear life. Enjoy the magnolia, the Italian sunshine on my back as I watch my toddler play, blissfully unaware of his parents’ turmoil (or is he? Are the nightmares he’s been having almost every night indicative of a deeper understanding than we give him credit for?), filling and dumping out his new digger over and over. Do nothing, say nothing, plan nothing.
Picture

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
Tots100 MAD Blog Awards

Picture
31 Comments

REVIEW: Boys&Girls unisex trousers from loveitloveitloveit

5/12/2015

14 Comments

 
When I had a bit of a moan on this blog about how hard it is to find bright, comfortable trousers for a toddler boy, the lovely Ruth from unisex & ethical children’s retailer loveitloveitloveit asked whether we'd like some bottoms. I said, yes please. We’ll have some bottoms.

Specifically, I said I'd have some lightweight, funky bottoms for a 3+ boy (he’s two but kinda lanky, and in any case I hate getting only a few months’ wear out of clothes so I tend to size up and roll up!). Loveitloveitloveit has a huge selection of unisex clothes to cover ages  0 to 10, so we had lots of choice (see more on that below). In the end I went for toucan-print trousers by the brand Boys&Girls. I just could not resist the toucans. Here's how we got on with the toucans...
Picture

REVIEW: Boys&Girls unisex toucan trousers from loveitloveitloveit

Funk and unisexiness: 10/10
The base colour is a lovely vibrant red rather than raspberry, the colour that so often puts the kibosh on girl’s trousers being okay for boys too. The toucans are just so cool, and don’t obviously have a “for boys” or “for girls” look. They can be teamed with all manner of bright t-shirts and luckily, the Bean agrees they're fabulous.
Picture
Comfort: 10/10
These are comfortable for the Bean to wear, in a way that lots of high-street boy’s chinos and jeans just aren’t (because they're restrictive and stiff, which is no good for a child who moves. And my goodness this boy does). The loose fit, supple fabric and elasticated waistband means they’re also easy for him to pull on and off himself - very important when getting to the potty in time can still be a bit tricky!
They’re very lightweight, making them perfect for spring picnics in Milan as well as the cooler summer evenings that await us in Sweden :-)
Picture
Fit: 9/10
As these are nice and loose (unlike some leggings) they will happily fit boys and girls of different builds. The fold-over cuffs mean they sit snugly at the ankle if they’re still a bit too long. If they’re much too long, as these were (we went for a size 4-5 for extra long wear!) and you're not keen on roll-ups, they’re quite easy to tuck in under the cuff and sew in place on the inside:
Picture
My only criticism of the fit is the waistband: although it’s elasticated it’s still “straight up and down” rather than a little cinched, which is just too loose for a skinny bean like mine and isn’t resolved by going down a size. It is, however, very easily resolved by opening up a bit of the waistband and threading through a tighter elastic, then sewing it back up again.

Quality: 8.5/10
Like all of Boys&Girls' clothes these trousers are made of 100% certified organic cotton, which feels very soft. I expect the colours to fade over time, but a few washes in the red is still nice and vibrant. As the cotton is quite thin it's starting to bobble a bit on the bum already, and I’m not sure whether the knees will stand up to adventure and general toddlerishness... However, I'm aware I asked for summery, lightweight trousers so I probably should have expected this!

Value for money: 9/10
Priced at £18 these aren’t the cheapest bottoms for toddlers on the market, but they’re not the most expensive either. I feel the price is a good reflection of what you get: a pair of well-made, funky-looking organic trousers that can be easily adjusted (with some basic sewing skills if necessary) to ensure longevity and, most importantly, which can be worn by and then handed down to either a boy or a girl.
Picture
So, all in all, we're very pleased and wouldn't hesitate to recommend this fabulous pair of bottoms. Thank you very much, loveitloveitloveit! I’m sure our paths will cross again, when we’re on the lookout for more gorgeous, unisex clothes:
Unisex Toddler Outfits | All from loveitloveitloveit store| Picked by Pasta & Patchwork blog
Lily Balou yellow Miel fire engine sweatshirt | AlbaBaby Ehn blue stripe pants | Lipfish arctic blue triceratops dinosaur top | Tootsa MacGinty denim harem pants | DUNS Sweden green fish t-shirt | Danefae watermelon stripe trousers
Disclosure: I was sent a pair of Boys&Girls toucan trousers for the purpose of this review, but all opinions are genuine and my own.

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
Tots100 MAD Blog Awards

Picture
14 Comments

I shall ask this only once...

5/11/2015

1 Comment

 
... okay well maybe twice, seeing as I asked last year too, but THIS year at least I will ask you only once, very nicely:
Tots100 MAD Blog Awards
If you like this space of mine on 't interwebs, this rather odd mish-mash of home makes, recipes, brain-dumps about life abroad, ramblings on parenting the World's Feistiest Toddler while still trying to be sort of middle-classishly thrifty and green, then I would love your vote in the 2015 MAD Blog Awards. The nomination form is here, and maybe you'd like to consider me in any (or even all! who knows!) of these categories:

Best Pre-school Blog
Best Family Travel Blog
Best Craft Blog
Best Food Blog
Best Writer

In the meantime I'm pondering my own nominations (because if there's one thing I've learned about blogging, it's that proper blog love is all about mutual support and really does make this whole thing go round). There are so many amazing blogs out there, but among those I've enjoyed reading lately are:
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture

Good luck to everyone in what's sure to be a fun award to take part in again!

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
1 Comment

"Crochet meets Patchwork" Afghan - Pink Granny Square Pattern Round-up

5/8/2015

8 Comments

 
You know when you've been fiddling with a project for so long you're no longer sure whether you like it? You start it and you rip it out and you change it and you rip it out again and you redo do it and... finally, after a long time, it thankfully all comes together and you fall in love with it again. Very thankfully, that's what's happened with my "Crochet meets Patchwork" blanket :-)

I've always loved the individual squares and colours, but given my total lack of planning of the overall design I've had many doubts about how and even IF they would all work together. But this is where I've got to now, and I think it will all be okay:

The pink squares are all done, which features my own "Lily Pad" design as well as some fabulous other free patterns (all links below).
I've finished the blue section too, and I love how it looks next to the pink and green.
Finished green, pink and blue blocks for the
Finished green, pink and blue blocks for the
Now I've still got the fuchsia squares to join, and a second strip of yellows to make. Yes, fuchsia and yellow! I think the grey and white "binding" for the patchwork-style blocks is my saviour! I like how it's allowed me to tap into the current "Rainbow Colours" trend in a grown-up way. I can have lots of colours, but there is still an understatedness about the whole. Which is kind of making me want to keep it for myself rather than give it to the Bean, as originally planned! (I'm working on a properly bright ripple blanket for him instead - much more toddlerish :-))
Half of the

"Crochet meets Patchwork" Afghan - Pink Granny Square Pattern Round-up

Wherever possible, I’ve linked to the original patterns and their designers. As you’ll see, however, there are a couple that I can’t track beyond Pinterest. If anyone knows who owns the copyright to these pattern, I’d be very grateful if you could get in touch. 

Notes: 

2.5 mm (C) and 3.5 mm (E/4) hooks 

Natura fingering cotton yarn 

Colours: Topaze, Ivory, Gris Argent, Aswan

individual square size: 10 cm x 10 cm (ca. 4" by 4")
  1. "Lily Pad" Granny Square by Eline at Pasta & Patchwork 
  2. Standard Crochet Granny Square - goodness knows who came up with this pattern first (!) but I used this step-by-step photo tutorial by Allison at Dream a Little Bigger to learn how to make granny squares.
  3. Unknown (at least I can't read it!) by domihobby - Just a photo and a diagram on this Russian site, so you'll need to be able to work it out from there.
  4. Standard Granny Square - see no. 1
  5. “Sunburst” Granny Square - no idea who came up with this first, but I used this photo tutorial by Jenny at Nittybits to learn.
  6. Unknown - I found this as part of a set of four diagrams on Pinterest
  7. Square in a Square by Debi at DIy's Hooks and Yarns
  8. 9 rows of pineapple stitch - I found instructions for this stitch in a crochet dictionary, but unfortunately I haven't come across any good online tutorials. Let me know if you see one!
  9. Mandala Flower Coaster by Nata at Nata's Nest - isn't this gorgeous?!
So that's all the pink squares! To join them I used this tutorial by Carina at Carina's Craft Blog, though note that I went for Half-Double crochets instead of Doubles. I then finished off the whole square with a a few rounds of Double Crochets (Trebles if you're in the UK). 
Do continue to show me your work on instagram or the Pasta & Patchwork facebook page - it's been amazing to see how you've been inspired by these patterns! Remember that you can also find pins of all the patterns and tutorials mentioned here on my Crochet meets Patchwork pinterest board.

This post is my submission to the Deramores Craft Blog Competition 2015. Deramores is the UK’s number one online retailer of knitting and crochet supplies. Visit www.deramores.com for more details.

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
8 Comments

A Fan of Fall - Crochet Cowl Pattern

5/6/2015

21 Comments

 
If, like me, you're in the Northern Hemisphere then you might find it a little odd that I'm publishing a pattern for an Autumnal crochet cowl in May. But you see, the thing is, there is a competition going on at the moment with £500 worth of yarn as a prize and I think this cowl might make a good entry. So never mind the seasons, have a lovely cowl pattern on me (and in any case Autumn may well be in full swing for some of you:-))!
This competition is being run by Deramores in collaboration with 6 bloggers, each of whom have identified a yarny trend. The first that caught my eye was the "Crochet Garments & DIY Fashion" one, for which I've entered the Pretty in Peach Pocket Dress. The second is "Colourful Ombré", as identified by Meredith at One Sheepish Girl. Until very recently I wasn't so keen on ombré, as it reminded me of the rather dodgy dip-tie t-shirt experiments of my teenage years... But then I got just a teensy bit hooked on crochet and pretty yarns and, oh my! There are SO many beautiful variegated yarns out there to help you make even more beautiful ombré things, including Meredith's wee baskets.

For this ombré cowl I've used yarn that I picked up at our local market, by what I believe is a company that has gone out of business! However, there are plenty of alternatives out there (I've picked a couple and added them to the "materials" section of the pattern). The key is to stick to different colours within the same family, so to get an Autumnal look you should go for "warm" shades of red, orange, and yellow. For extra warmth and softness, it's a good idea to look for something that has at least some pure wool content (mine was 50% wool, 50% acrylic). 
The nice thing about chunky cowls such as this one is that they are not only very wearable, they're also very quick to make. This one uses clusters of Treble Crochet to make little fan-shapes in between blocks of Trebles, so as long as you can make chains and TCs (DC if you're in the US), you'll be able to knock this up in a few evenings.

A Fan of Fall  - crochet cowl pattern

Materials

3 x 100g balls of aran or chunky variegated yarn with a warm palette, such as:
Katia Azteca #7825
Malabrigo Chunky in Noviembre

7.0 mm (L/8) hook

wool needle

Pattern notes

UK terms (with US terms in brackets)

Stitches: Treble Crochet - TC (Double Crochet - DC); Standing Treble Crochet - STC (Standing Double Crochet - SDC) - WATCH VIDEO TUTORIAL - ; Chain - ch
Instructions

R1:
Make starting chain of 23 st. TC (DC) in the 4th chain from the hook. Skip 2, then TC (DC) 5 in the next chain to make the first fan-shape. Skip 3, ch 2, then TC (DC) 1 each in the next 5 chains. Skip 2, then TC (DC) 5 in the next chain to make the second fan-shape. Skip 3, ch 2, then TC (DC) 1 each in the next 2 chains. Turn.

R2:
Ch 3 OR make a STC (SDC), then TC (DC) 1 in the next st. Skip 2, then TC (DC) 5 in the next st to make the first fan-shape. Skip 4, ch 2, then TC (DC) 1 each in the next 5 st. Skip 2, then TC (DC) 5 in the next st to make the second fan-shape. Skip 4, ch 2, then TC (DC) 1 each in the next 2 st. Turn.
A Fan of Fall | Free Crochet Cowl Pattern by Pasta & Patchwork | Diagram
Diagram with STC (SDC) start
Repeat R2 until you’re satisfied with the length. For me, that means long enough to loosely wrap around my neck & shoulders twice.

Sew the first and last rows together with the same yarn and a wool needle to complete your cowl.
WrittWritten pattern copyright Eline Alcocer 2015. 
You are welcome to make and use this pattern as you wish, but please do not sell the pattern nor claim the pattern as your own. 
You are welcome to sell items made using this pattern as long as the designer, Eline Alcocer, is clearly credited at the Point of Sale. 
Please link back to this page if you write about the pattern in any way. 
You may not reproduce, either partially or in full, any of the photos or the text contained in this post without obtaining written permission from me first. 
Thank you and happy crocheting!

This post is my submission to the Deramores Craft Blog Competition 2015. Deramores is the UK’s number one online retailer of knitting and crochet supplies. Visit www.deramores.com for more details.

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
21 Comments

You win some, you lose some

5/3/2015

8 Comments

 
I meant to write this post while the Bean had his afternoon nap, but there was no nap. It was a non-nap day. It was not a good day, or not a good afternoon at least, because he is not yet old enough to handle non-nap days. Non-nappenings are bad. Unfortunately they are happening more frequently. For about the third time in 4 or 5 weekends, we have had non-nappenings and now, at 7:15 P.M., I feel like I’ve gone ten rounds with Tyson. Toddler-yson? Todd-zilla?

It looks like non-nappenings are being added to our list of Battles with the Bean. Neither myself nor Mr P&P are particularly combative people. We’ve both naturally tended to adopt a parenting approach (i.e. totally wing it while telling ourselves we have carefully considered all aspects of our role as more responsible and mature beings) that takes the battle out of the baby and toddler happenings. We let him wean himself, we never sleep-trained, we didn’t bother with schedules (although that was partially because I didn’t know how). At 2 years and 3 months he decides himself when he goes to bed. We try not to say “no” unless it’s absolutely necessary, we try not to force him to do things he doesn’t want to, we try to gently put in place boundaries that are logical. We try so very hard.

And yet, despite our best efforts it seems that toddlers were born to prod, provoke, pique. Why else would this happen:

Toddler smacks spoon on table and in what I believe to be a stroke of parenting genius and magnanimity combined, I suggest he goes and does some drumming instead.
He does indeed stop hitting the table, but before we know it we’re sharing it with a drum, a tambourine and a xylophone.
And the toddler sits there with a look of “what?” and I have to concede: yes, what? Everything? Nothing? I have no bloody idea but somehow I still feel like you’ve got one over on me.


Because it also seems that our own primal instincts are not to be duck-like and let it all glide off our backs but to say, “bring it on, Beanface”. To feel the stress levels rise, to want to exert some of control. Not giving in to that - because I don’t think we should - is a daily battle in itself.

Some of the other things are we’re 'working on', with varying degrees of success:

Getting dressed. Not just in the morning but at any time of day/night. In the morning he screams because he won’t take off his PJs, in the evening he screams because he won’t put them on. We thought for a while that letting him pick and put on his own clothes had solved it, but he’s over that already. Butt-naked is way better than dressed, clearly.
Bean 1 - 0 Parents


Stalling. I swear to god, I could tempt him with the most awesome of awesomeness with extra crisps AND chocolate thrown in, but if it doesn’t smack him in the face RIGHT NOW he ain’t bothered. He stalls, he faffs, he does everything possible to put off the awesomeness. I cannot fathom it.
Bean 1 - 0 Parents


Trying “strange” foods. Dare I say, in the tiniest of voices, that we may be making some headway here? The nursery staff have convinced him to eat spinach and fennel, fennel! (don’t ask me how) and for two days running now he’s eaten new things at home too. New things with odd smells and strong flavours. There are still just as many other things he turns his nose up at immediately, but hey: Bean 1 - 1 Parents and by god I’LL TAKE THAT.

Dummy use. We lose. 100%.

Manners and kindness. Another mixed bag, this. Pleases and thank yous are coming on very nicely, and occasionally there’s a heartfelt sorry after a building block to the head. But sometimes we’ll get another block to the neh-nehs, and there is still way too much shouting for chocolate for my liking.
Bean 1 - 1 Parents


Anyway. It’s now 20:15 P.M. and one cup of tea and a sit-down later I’m starting to feel better. I’ve had to go in and soothe him after a night terror, and already I’ve forgiven him and more: he’s only two, a pretty darn terrific two. My Two, my boy, my Bean. How I wish I didn’t feel like I was fighting you all the time, because it feels like I'm failing you and in many ways I’d gladly let you win. Really I would. Just don’t hit me with a non-nappening Sunday again, okay?

Come say hello:
Pasta & Patchwork - Home
8 Comments
    Picture
    Hello! I'm Eline, and I've recently moved to a new corner of the internet: 
    www.emmyandlien.com/
    ​
    Do come and say hello!

    Read more:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013


    Hookin on Hump Day
    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.