Which goes something like this:
1. Take off snot and food-stained perma-wear: jogging bottoms and comfy cardie.
2. Locate creased, squashed trousers and equally creased, squashed shirt from back of wardrobe.
3. Remember sensible, civilised people iron these things. Ponder a moment where iron might be. Locate iron, then do shirt + trousers while mentally running through the approximately 57 other chores that need doing.
4. Get dressed. Marvel at the fact it takes more than 30 seconds to do so. Marvel a bit more at the fact that I used to do this every day.
5. Retrieve make-up bag from box of soft toys (toddler's current favourite past-time is dumping out contents of said make-up bag - proof below).
1. Take off snot and food-stained perma-wear: jogging bottoms and comfy cardie.
2. Locate creased, squashed trousers and equally creased, squashed shirt from back of wardrobe.
3. Remember sensible, civilised people iron these things. Ponder a moment where iron might be. Locate iron, then do shirt + trousers while mentally running through the approximately 57 other chores that need doing.
4. Get dressed. Marvel at the fact it takes more than 30 seconds to do so. Marvel a bit more at the fact that I used to do this every day.
5. Retrieve make-up bag from box of soft toys (toddler's current favourite past-time is dumping out contents of said make-up bag - proof below).
6. Do make-up and marvel at the fact that I don't look like complete cr*p (no amount of make-up will totally hide the under-eye bags though).
7. Check every surface of clothing for snot trails and food stains. Find several, but go at them with a wet wipe instead of getting changed.
8. Empty coat of used tissues and half-eaten packets of biscuits.
9. Contemplate heels, but get sore feet just thinking about it and opt for the usual, almost-flat mum-boots.
10. Dump more tissues, wet- wipes, a nappy or two, a plastic key and more half-eaten packets of biscuits out of handbag.
11. Head for the door, fail to locate keys. Head back in while trying to remember where toddler last tried to 'unlock' a screw. Find tucked inside tiny shoe.
12. Finally leave, feeling strangely light without a buggy/change bag/coat full of tissues/wriggling toddler who hates the buggy.
> and afterwards....
13. Come back home to pile of tissues, wet wipes, a nappy or two, a plastic key and more half-eaten packets of biscuits. Feel reassured that the above probably won't happen again for another 13 months (note: I do work, but from home!).
7. Check every surface of clothing for snot trails and food stains. Find several, but go at them with a wet wipe instead of getting changed.
8. Empty coat of used tissues and half-eaten packets of biscuits.
9. Contemplate heels, but get sore feet just thinking about it and opt for the usual, almost-flat mum-boots.
10. Dump more tissues, wet- wipes, a nappy or two, a plastic key and more half-eaten packets of biscuits out of handbag.
11. Head for the door, fail to locate keys. Head back in while trying to remember where toddler last tried to 'unlock' a screw. Find tucked inside tiny shoe.
12. Finally leave, feeling strangely light without a buggy/change bag/coat full of tissues/wriggling toddler who hates the buggy.
> and afterwards....
13. Come back home to pile of tissues, wet wipes, a nappy or two, a plastic key and more half-eaten packets of biscuits. Feel reassured that the above probably won't happen again for another 13 months (note: I do work, but from home!).
