Pasta & Patchwork
  • Home
  • About P&P
  • Patterns
  • Recipes
  • Projects
  • Product Reviews

Life according to an eleven month old

12/26/2013

0 Comments

 
1. It is perfectly acceptable to wake up your parents at 5:30 in the morning, as long as you do it in style: whisper “da” like you don’t mean it then scream “DAAAAAAAAAAA” like you do, poke your mum through the cot bars, and throw in a song for good measure.

2. No piece of food must go past your lips until it’s been squeezed, mashed, squished or otherwise body-slammed into your tray. For extra points, fling it right off said tray. THEN maybe you can taste the next piece that will inevitably come your way.

3. When no one is looking, every socket, cable, switch or other wobbly-sticky-out thing is fair game. Scream blue murder when they spot your shenanigans and tell you off.

4. Reading the same story fifteen times over never did anyone any harm, so demand that those big people do it. They’ll thank you for it later.

5. Who the heck wants a woolly itchy hot thing on their head? Refuse to put on any sort of hat unless the putting-on process is accompanied by song, dance and dummy-shaped bribes. 

6. Socks are for wusses, unless they have grippy bits on the bottom, in which case they should be given a good chew.

7. Sharing is where it’s at. As in: mummy and daddy must learn to share nicely. Share their computer. Share their cutlery. Share their pot of yoghurt and never mind that you turn it upside down when you finally get it.

8. Resist the changing table at all costs. It is the devil’s invention and nothing should convince you otherwise.

9. Nothing qualifies as a decent toy unless it can be BANGED on the floor. Which basically means anything goes, especially the contents of the kitchen cupboard.

10. The most interesting things are always out of reach. This is very annoying and unfair, and you must not rest until this injustice has been addressed. Ear-splitting screaming or incessant whining until you get a lift up should do the trick.

11. Love life, tangerines, and pink plastic spoons with abandon.

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Hello! I'm Eline, and I've recently moved to a new corner of the internet: 
    www.emmyandlien.com/
    ​
    Do come and say hello!

    Read more:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013


    Hookin on Hump Day
    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.