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Expat Life: 5 Ways to Make the Most of Uncertainty

11/12/2014

25 Comments

 
Back in January Mr P&P renewed his work contract here in Milan for another 18 months. At that point the summer of 2015 seemed very far away, but *news flash* we’re already more than halfway there. Help!

Help! because we have no idea where we’re going after this (though we are at least almost certain we won’t be staying). Help! because we don’t know if we’ll have to make do with one instead of two incomes for a while. Help! because I don’t know if, when or where I’m supposed to be applying for schools for the Bean.

That’s a lot of unknowns. In some ways it’s nice, though. Honestly! I like that they’re known unknowns, in that we have plenty of advance warning of the changes that are afoot. It’s nice because the stillness before this storm of changes is something we’re enjoying: we know we have it good, right now. Because we’re basking in the absolute absence of bureaucratic palaver… We’re just waiting, quietly, contently.

Of course, on some days panic does creep in. The desire to find certainty dominates and the thought of having to box up our lives again fills me with nothing but dread.

On those days I …
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1. Look for comfort in the everyday

Every day is full of little moments and places that are wonderfully familiar. Although knowing they’ll disappear from our lives soon is sad, in the meantime, I hold on to them for dear life. Stupendously good cappuccino, and fresh juice for the Bean, at the café down the road on a Sunday morning. 

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The little walk back from nursery, during which the Bean points out every flower and stick and dog (and, less pleasingly, every dog poo on the pavement). Weather good enough to allow outdoor swimming well into September. Persimmons in the autumn, artichokes in winter, asparagus in spring, all manner of juicy fruit in summer.
Wrap myself up in every single one.

2. Day dream (but don’t plan)

Of course there are things about Milan, and our current living situation, that I don’t like. And so I dream of a lovely garden, of a separate bedroom for the Bean, of a kitchen big enough to allow me to cook and the Bean to play without us constantly tripping over each other (or is that just an inevitable part of having a toddler in the house??).
Of towns filled with green spaces and air that doesn’t smell foul as soon as the Autumn fog creeps in.
I dream of a home that I can decorate the way I like. I dream of a new adventures, new delicacies to try, new friends to make.

3. Rethink the finances

Upping sticks costs money, and this time I don’t think we’ll be able to get away with rocking up with just two suitcases, no savings and nowhere permanent to stay. Heck, I don’t think I want to do that again! So we’re squirreling away at least some of our pennies (well, cents!) to fund all the boring bits: packing and shipping, deposits, documents, enrollment fees and goodness knows what else.

4. Start preparing where possible

I may not know where we’re heading, but I do know we’re not staying. And not staying means … *drum roll of doom* a house move.
I hate moving house, but at least I can start getting things ready now, slowly, in the hope of making the move easier when it comes. Throwing or giving away things we definitely won’t take. Boxing up and storing the things we will, but don’t use on a day-to-day basis. Not buying new, non-essential things that I will only have to get rid of or move again. Nothing beats feeling like you’re doing something useful, even a little  bit...

5. Make the most of now

I refuse to leave Italy before having achieved the following:

Gone south: Sicily, Sardinia, Puglia - I don’t care as long as I get to further down (and closer to a beach) than Rome

Eaten my body weight in gelato

Climbed to the top of the Milan's Duomo
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I think uncertainty and dealing with change is an inevitable part of being a globetrotting sort of family. Have you experienced this, and how did you cope?

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25 Comments
Seychellesmama link
11/13/2014 02:46:15 am

Eeeek that's exciting, and terrifying all in one go isn't it!! Making the decision that you're definitely not staying is a huge one!! It's exciting to start to think where you might end up (seychelles maybe!?) and the house, the school, the work, the friends everything is an exciting new thing....the best bit of expat life :) a new adventure!!
I'm excited to find out where you guys decide to go!!
A perfect post for #myexpatfamily I love it!!!

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:20:52 am

Aw thank you for your lovely comment! Unfortunately a move to the Seychelles is unlikely - I can't imagine all my husband's lab equipment would be very easy to get in your part of the world! xxx

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Lysa @ Welcome to My Circus link
11/13/2014 04:14:30 am

That is indeed reasons to be uncertain but your tips for overcoming uncertainty are great. I must admit they have helped me with some very uncertain times I am now facing. Thanks for linking up with #brilliantblogposts.
xx
Lysa

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:22:36 am

That's really lovely to hear, thank you for reading x

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Phoebe @ Lou Messugo link
11/13/2014 05:32:13 am

What exciting (and unsettling) times! I haven't been in that situation for a long time now but know the feeling very well as I've moved country 9 times and lived in so many places I can't count. It's a thrilling and scary time and I wish you well with the preparations and planning. Your 5 points are all very well thought out. Linking up with #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:24:06 am

That's a lot of moves... I'm heading for a crazy number too, and "thrilling and scary" definitely sums it all up well! Thanks for reading x

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Molly @ The Move to America link
11/13/2014 01:08:10 pm

These are really great tips - will be bookmarking this and revisiting it when I need reminders! #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:24:47 am

Thank you Molly, I hope they do indeed come in useful if and when you need them!

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Adriana link
11/13/2014 01:36:19 pm

What a great post, you have great ideas on how to make the best of your situation but I kinda like not being certain too! Makes it exciting...and scary too! Looking forward to residing more of your posts x

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:30:10 am

It definitely is exciting and scary in equal measure! Thanks for reading x

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Honest Mum link
11/13/2014 03:07:34 pm

Exciting, stressful times, we moved a lot when my first son was young and remember it well, did love making new friends and discovering new parts from London to Bristol then back to my hometown of Leeds. Husband wanted us to move to LA but I chickened out. Maybe for the future. Fab post and good luck with it all! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:31:34 am

Moving to LA would have been a HUGE change, I'm not surprised you chickened out! Unless something utterly amazing comes up elsewhere, I doubt we'll be leaving Europe.

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Sara (@mumturnedmom) link
11/13/2014 07:37:33 pm

Very exciting, although I think I would be struggling with the remaining calm thing. I absolutely love your approach though, and actually, having made the big move once, I think I probably could manage to not panic... most of the time :) Your five points are excellent! #myexpatfamily

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Eline @ Pasta 6 Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:37:16 am

Oh the panic does creep in sometimes! Having been through all this several times before does help, but I think it's completely natural to feel overwhelmed by sometimes anyway.

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Ersatz Expat link
11/14/2014 01:08:26 am

The limbo before a move is so horrible isn't it - particularly when you don't know where you are going to and moving is just horrible full stop. It sounds as though you are dealing with it really well though. Enjoy the time you have left and good luck with the move.

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:38:26 am

Thank you, I think enjoying the time we have left here really is the best thing to do. And not thinking about the horrible moving!

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Jacqui@FrenchVillageDiaries link
11/14/2014 03:53:51 am

Nice to meet you via #myexpatfamily. We are in a different situation, but the uncertainty is still present. We have been in France ten years and never quite know where or when the next job will take my husband, but as a family we are happy and feel settled in France. Best of luck!

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:46:04 am

Gosh, after such a long time in the same place that must be hard to deal with! Nice to meet you too, thanks for reading.

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Carie link
11/14/2014 03:19:08 pm

It sounds equal parts exciting and terrifying - I like your list of things to do before you go though!

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:46:57 am

Haha, thank you - it's all about priorities and ice cream in particular just has to be one of the highest!

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Steph @MisplacedBrit link
11/20/2014 02:00:59 pm

Love this post. Heart felt AND practical, being in and enjoying the now, but not investing a future in it.
You never know when this kind of information becomes handy. I hope I've absorbed is as well as I think I have! :-)
#MyExpatFamily

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
11/21/2014 05:48:23 am

Thank you so much Steph! I can't quite believe it's your neck of the woods (ish) we may be moving to next ;-)

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TalesofaTwinMum link
11/21/2014 02:34:11 pm

Wow how exciting and scary that must be. The whole world is open to you - now that must be an amazing feeling. When the right opportunity knocks I'm sure it will feel totally right. Good luck!

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Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) link
11/22/2014 12:56:27 pm

OOohhh thats scary and exciting at the same time! So many possibilities! Agree with every item on the list too! #MyExpatFamily

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Tarana Khan link
12/15/2014 03:14:30 pm

I could really use these tips since we may be moving too, and I hate packing up after having settled down so well.

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