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6 Things I don't love about toddler parenting

11/27/2014

21 Comments

 
1. The bucket of doom

The one that houses the victims of our toilet training misses. You’d think that we wouldn’t be fazed by this, what with being used to cloth nappies and all. But it’s different. With cloth nappies you just deal with the nappies. The bucket of doom, on the other hand, has no mercy. It eats pee-sodden pants, trousers, socks, slippers, sometimes even t-shirts if Willy went Wayward and if you’re really unlucky, your favourite sofa cushion.


2. Not remembering who my husband is

I mean he’s there, but not really. Or perhaps I’m not here. I couldn’t tell you whether he’s found time to shave - I was too busy wrestling the toddler into his trousers. I couldn’t tell you whether he’s managed to shovel in some breakfast - I was too busy scraping the toddler’s blueberries off the floor. I couldn’t tell you how he said his day has gone - I was too busy dealing with the toddler shouting over the top. I couldn’t tell what he thought about this TV programme or that - I was too busy falling asleep at 8:30 PM.

Still, I think the feeling is mutual, since he said two days ago “see you at Christmas”...


3. Model behaviour… 10 minutes before bedtime

He may have been demanding I choo-choo his train for him (not with him) but I need barely whisper the word “bed” to my toddler and he will become the picture of angelic cuteness. He will not only choochoo his train but make a bridge for it. He will not only read a book but recite it to me, actions and all. He will be wonderful company and let me crochet on the sofa. For a whole 10 minutes every day, just before bedtime. 
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Did somebody say "bed"?
4. How nothing that is mine is actually mine

My handbag has become a receptacle for toy cars, soggy tissues and rampant raisins.

My brain thumps not to Daft Punk (you can see where I got stranded, can’t you) but roars to RaaRaa and wiggles to Iggle Piggle.

“Me-time” (bwahaha) is a race against toddler nap-time: check emails scoff biscuits take pictures make work phone calls do laundry write blog post crochet 5 rows maybe say hello to husband (but probably not, see point 2) faff about on twitter and none of it is enjoyed as it should be due to the constant terror that he might wake up. 


5. The “astute” observations of others

“Someone isn’t very happy” - are you talking about the screaming toddler, or the mother skidding across the supermarket floor with a screaming toddler in her arms and the shopping bags hanging off her ears?

“He doesn’t look very tired” - he’s cream-crackered, and as you will not be the one dealing with the fallout of a missed nap, he’s going to bed NOW.

“He’s really enjoying that cake” - oh, you mean the fifth slice of that chocolate-filled, dinner-obliterating cake you’ve just given him? I bloody well bet he is. 


6. My immune system having gone AWOL

You’d think that, as a former preschool teacher who once had 25 children wipe their snot on my sleeve on a daily basis, I’d have an immune system. Any immune system. But it seems not. *blows nose for the fifth time in as many minutes*

It goes without saying that I love my toddler dearly and being a parent to him is amazing and fulfilling and blah-de-blah-de-blah (so please don't troll me). 

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21 Comments
Rebecca U link
11/27/2014 03:15:19 am

I can definitely relate. There are so many fab things but MESS pretty much sums up having a toddler, for me #brilliantblogposts

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:52:04 am

Oh yes, MESS! How could I forget that ;-)

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lifeloveanddirtydishes link
11/27/2014 03:35:24 am

oh for a handbag of my own again!
#brillblogposts
http://lifeloveanddirtydishes.com

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:52:45 am

One day eh, one day!

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Michelle Reeves link
11/27/2014 07:28:27 am

OMG this is just BRILLIANT. It is exactly where we are right now. And those 'astute' comments from others - arrgghhh!!! Fab post honey, will be sharing x

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:53:37 am

Thank you so much! x

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Michelle Reeves link
11/27/2014 07:29:06 am

...opps sorry, forgot to mention I saw this on #brilliantblogposts !

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Sarah-Jane link
11/27/2014 12:47:30 pm

hehehe awe i love this, mostly cause ive been there hun :) That said, My Agent M is 7 now and im still his personal toy transportation system (i found a lego figure in my college kit bag today lol).

You have my sympathy :) xxx

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:54:46 am

Ah, so the end is not quite in sight then ;-)

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Steph @MisplacedBrit link
11/27/2014 01:23:33 pm

Hahaha! Excellent post and totally totally true... The problem is, maybe you have another...And then another... And honestly, life before the circle above feels like a vague dream, hardly even a reality!

#brilliantblogposts

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:55:51 am

Honestly I'm doomed - even with only one I can hardly remember what "life before" was like!

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Maria link
11/27/2014 02:28:04 pm

So true! #brilliantblogposts

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carie link
11/28/2014 02:22:08 am

Oh these are so true - especially the astute comments (grr) - I get lots of "you've got your hands full" at the moment - and the bucket of doom brought back memories I'm trying to suppress and a good deal of foreshadowing for the next few months!

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:56:54 am

"you've got your hands full" ??!! Oh my, how do you not lob a block at them...

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Seychellesmama link
11/28/2014 08:41:04 am

Aww I laughed and nodded my way through this post haha!!!
That pic is so bloody cute, I can totally see what you mean about becoming an angel before bed.....can you say "butter wouldn't melt!!!!" Xx

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:58:21 am

Butter wouldn't melt indeed, and he is just so infuriatingly good at this! x

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Honest Mum link
11/29/2014 10:21:19 am

Brilliant, totally relate, the toddler years are hard and now Alexander is firmly in the terrible 2's I feel a lot more stressed! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 03:59:25 am

I agree, it is stressful and we haven't even hit Two with M yet! You try to stay calm but...

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Lysa ~ Welcome to My Circus link
12/1/2014 12:26:57 am

I have been there and can empathize with you...my youngest are now teens and the things that are mine are still not mine. And what I wouldn't give after 26 years of parenting to have my own purse again...lol

But try your best to cherish these moments because before you know it your son will be having children of his own...trust me as I now have a five year old grandson!

Wishing you an amazing week.

xx
Lysa

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Eline @ Pasta & Patchwork link
12/9/2014 04:01:01 am

Very good point Lysa. I suppose when they are busy growing up at breakneck speed, a handbag doing what it was meant to isn't really that important! Thanks for the reminder x

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Seychellesmama link
6/17/2015 03:40:39 am

Haha Eline I can't help but laugh because I can totally relate to this and if I don't laugh I'll cry at the sad but true-ness of this!!!

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